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I'll be honest — I thought he was annoying.
I used to come over to his family's house for French lessons from his mom. We were teenagers, neighbors, our families already acquainted. And Elikem, in his infinite wisdom, decided the best way to introduce himself was to give me a tickle. I have brought this up multiple times. I will continue to bring it up.
But if I'm being really honest, I noticed him. I just wasn't going to say that out loud.
We became friends over the years, good ones, and somewhere along the way I started feeling something I wasn't entirely ready to feel. I fought it for a while. He was patient. Eventually I ran out of excuses.
What I'd say about Elikem is that he is dependable and steady in a way that is rare. He goes out of his way to make sure I feel heard, acknowledged and taken care of, so that I can just be a girl. He has never made me feel like a burden for that. When he decided to leave his job to pivot into a whole new career, I didn't hesitate. You don't hesitate for someone like that. You just show up. And we figured it out together.
As for the proposal, I had a feeling it was coming. I just didn't know it was coming that day, disguised as a photoshoot on a beach I love. One moment I was smiling for the camera. The next, there was a ring.
I said yes before he could finish the sentence.
It started with French lessons and an unsolicited tickle.
Gina and I grew up in the same neighborhood. Our parents already knew each other long before we really paid attention to one another. She used to come over to my house for French lessons from my mom, and if I'm being honest, my grand introduction was giving her a tickle. She claims she found it annoying. I have my doubts.
We became close friends over the years, and somewhere along the way I couldn't tell you exactly when it became something more. It wasn't a dramatic moment or a big realization. She just became my person, quietly and completely.
What I know about Gina is that she shows up in ways that take your breath away. Early in our relationship, she was still figuring out her career, and she would still randomly show up with cake, nice breakfast packages, remember every detail of my birthday, and somehow shop for me when I know for a fact she didn't have that kind of money. I still wonder how she did it. A year later she was taking me to a posh Japanese restaurant like it was nothing — that's Gina. Warm, generous, and quietly strong.
A couple of years in, I took her to a beach out of town — she loves the beach. I pretended we were doing a photoshoot. The camera was a decoy. The ring was not.
She said yes, and here we are.
Here is how
to give;
cash gifts are
gently preferred
as we start life
